The search for the Purple Flying Monkey!
by max.ride123
Summary: What happens when the whole of Hogwarts is given Muggle Crack? Bad things...The search for the PFM will continue! I think this story is gonna be a one-shot but if people like it a lot I will write more! T for safety...
1. Crack and the PFM

Stupid Skit:

**Hello everybody! This is just a skit I wrote because I was bored…the James in this story is James as in Ginny and Harry's son. Most of the characters here you won't know unless you read my fanfiction…you can just read it for laughs I guess if you don't want to read my fanfiction I guess…**

**Review please….**

Stupid Skit:

Vanessa: Homework time!

All: -groan-

Vanessa: we have to study, study, study…

Stefanie: I want to play with the purple, flying monkey!

James: The purple, flying monkey?

Stefanie: Yes…otherwise known as the PFM!

Ryan: Where is the PFM?

Matthew: I've heard of it!

Vanessa: STUDY!!

Nicholas: -entering room- HEY GUYS!

Natalie: Nicholas! Do you know where we can find the PFM!

Nicholas: -gasp- you mean the purple flying monkey?

All: YES! THE PURPLE FLYING MONKEY!!

Nicholas: I don't know…we have to ask Lily!

_In the Great Hall…._

Nicholas: LILY! HAVE YOU SEEN THE PFM??

Lily: errr…no…

Rose: THE PURPLE FLYING MONKEY!!

Hugo: THE PFM!!

Nicholas: YES!!

Lily: Did you guys eat muggle crack again?

Nicholas: Yeah! It was yummy…

Rose: mmmmhhh…yummy in my tummy!

Lily: Here we go again…

Musketeers: -entering hall-

James: WE BROUGHT VANESSA TO THE DARK SIDE!!

Vanessa: PFM! PFM! PFM!

Natalie: YAY!

Josh: -entering hall- Hey guys…seen any hot chicks around?

Matthew: No...we're looking for the PFM!

Josh: Ohhhh…what's the PFM?

Ryan: The Purple flying monkey!

Josh: Did you guys eat crack again?

All: YEAH!

Josh: COOL! Can I have some?

Stefanie: Sure!

_Later that afternoon…_

Josh: We still haven't found the purple flying monkey…

Rose: -sob-

Hugo: We must look harder…

Nicholas: We have to find it soon!

Vanessa: We haven't checked in outside!!

All: YAY!! OUTSIDE!

_Outside…_

Stefanie: THERE'S MARY-JO!!

James: YAY! Your cousin is funny…

All: -run up to Mary-Jo-

Mary-Jo: umm…hi guys!

Nicholas: -grin- heya cuz…

MJ: What's wrong?

Stefanie: We're looking for the PFM!

Mary-Jo: -groan- not this AGAIN! Auntie Maria told you not eat crack anymore!

James: Do YOU want some?

MJ: NO!

Josh: You're a hot chick…I've been looking for a hot chick…

MJ: -slap-

Josh: OWWWWWWWWWWWW

MJ: Am I still a hot chick now?

Josh: No…you're a hot babe….

MJ: -glare-

Ryan: Why are you outside?

MJ: I'm looking for Caroline…

Hugo: boring….

Josh: She's a hot chick as well…

Stefanie: PFM PFM PFM

James: We must look at this rationally…we need extra minions to help us in our search for the purple flying monkey…

All: -look at Mary-Jo-

MJ: ohhhhh NO! I told you already I am NOT taking crack…

Matthew: You WILL take crack…

MJ: NO!

Natalie: YES!

Vanessa: GET HER!

-Suddenly John and Daniel- Mary-Jo's brother's appear-

John: What are you doing to our sister?

Daniel: YEAH!

MJ: They're gonna force me to eat crack…

Daniel: Cool...can I have some?

Stefanie: SURE!

John: What about me?

Nicholas: All right!

-John and Daniel eat crack-

John: PFM

Daniel: PFM

MJ: -hides behind tree-

James: WHERE DID SHE GO?

Stefanie: BEHIND THE TREE!

Ryan: GET HER!

Caroline: -skipping over- HELLO!

MJ: Oh thank god…

Caroline: MJ! I found Stef's supply of crack and I had some…its really nice!

MJ: O.O

Caroline: We.must.find.the.PURPLE FLYING MONKEY

MJ: NOOOOOOO

Matthew: surround Mary-Jo!

MJ: -whimper- I DON'T WANT CRACK!

Stefanie: -evil grin-

Albus + Lily: -flying down from broom- WE'LL SAVE YOU!

MJ: HA!

Albus: -swoops down and grabs MJ-

Lily: We must fly away from the insane ones!

John: NO

Daniel: BRING BACK OUR SISTER!

MJ: WE MUST FIND MCGONAGALL

Albus: Roger that…

-Lily, MJ and Albus fly away-

Josh: THEY'RE GONE…now Stef, Vanessa and Natalie are the only hot chick's left…

Stefanie: grrrr...oh well…PFM

Caroline: TO THE QUIDDITCH PITCH!

Stefanie: No…the whole of Hogwarts must join us in our PFM hunt…

James: MWAHAHAHAHAHA Our cousins will be part of our army also!

Rose: this is fun…

_That evening….the rest of Hogwarts has been given crack… (Except for Lily, Albus and MJ who have gone into hiding) _

Whole of Hogwarts: -chanting- PFM PFM PFM

Stefanie: QUIDDITCH PITCH TIME!

Students: YEAH!

_On the Quidditch pitch…_

John: THERE'S THE PFM

Daniel: YAY!!

(The PFM is really just a figment of their imagination; anybody who hasn't been given crack can't see the PFM)

Students: YAY!!

-Students form a circle around the 'PFM' and dance around it, worshipping-

Students: Purple Flying Monkey…purple flying monkey…purple flying monkey…

McGonagall: -marches onto the pitch with Albus, MJ and Lily following-

MJ: I told you Professor!

McGonagall: -gasp- IS THAT PROFESSOR LONGBOTTOM!

Albus: Yep!

McGonagall: who are the people who started all this?

-Crowd steps back to reveal Stefanie, Nicholas, James, Natalie, Vanessa and Matthew standing in the middle-

Nicholas: -crack is beginning to where off- err….PFM?

MJ: Of COURSE my cousins are involved…

Lily: And my brother…

McGonagall: You supplied CRACK to the whole of HOGWARTS!

Stefanie: -Taking more crack- YEP! Now….we must search for the yellow swimming pig!

James: -also taking more crack- YSP!!

Students: YEAHHH!!

Nicholas: YSP YSP YSP

Josh: -crack hasn't worn off yet- you know professor…you're a hot chick too…

McGonagall: O.O

MJ: O.O

Albus: O.O

Lily: HAVE YOU GONE MAD JOSHUA?

Josh: Nope….i just ate crack…YSP YSP YSP

Students: -run and trample Professor McGonagall, Lily, MJ and Albus as they run towards the Great Lake in search of the YSP!-

MJ: ouch…

THE END!!


	2. Truth or Dare

Skit:

Skit:

-Stefanie and James are sitting bored in the common room-

Stefanie: James…

James: yeah?

Stefanie: I'm bored…

James: Well what are we going to do? McGonagall took away our crack away…

Stefanie: -sigh- OH I KNOW! TRUTH OR DARE

James: YAY!

Stefanie: Lets find the musketeers then!

James: Gotcha!

_Half an hour later in the Gryffindor common room…_

Matthew: Okay…who's spinning the bottle first?

Natalie: OH ME!

-Natalie spins bottle which lands on Vanessa-

Natalie: -smirk- Truth or dare Vanessa?

Vanessa: Truth…

Ran: Awwww…you wimp…

Natalie: Okay...is it true that you thought Teddy Lupin was hot when he was still at school?

Stefanie: By the way…you can't lie because I put a lie detector charm on the bottle…

Vanessa: -sigh- Yes…

James: Ewww…that's so sick and WRONG!

Ryan: -huff-

Matthew: -laughing- your turn to spin the bottle Vani…

-Vanessa spins bottle which lands on Stefanie-

Vanessa: -grin- Truth or dare?

Stefanie: Dare of COURSE!

Vanessa: hmmm…I dare you…to take Josh out on a Hogsmeade weekend!

Stefanie: WHAT!

James: Yeah…that's a…err…dumb dare…

Ryan: you're not jealous of an 11 year old are you James?

James: No…it's just weird…

Stefanie: AND I can't take him because he's not allowed to go to Hogsmeade cause he's only in FIRST YEAR!

Natalie: We'll use James' invisibility cloak then…

James: -grumble-

Stefanie: Errggghhhh…fine…now let me spin…

-Stefanie spins bottle which lands on James-

Stefanie: Truth or dare?

James: -slightly scared- Dare…

Stefanie: Okay…I dare you to SNOG Natalie!

James: WHAT!

Natalie: WHAT!

Matthew: WHAT WHAT!!

Stefanie: You heard me…

Vanessa: Ohhh…this is gonna be good…

Ryan: -pulls out popcorn-

Natalie: Do I get a say in this?

Stefanie: Nope…-pulls out wand and binds Natalie with ropes-

James: but but but…

Stefanie: Go on James…you know how the game goes…if you don't do it then you're gonna have BOILS all over your face for a week!

Matthew: Think of Natalie Stef…

Stef: -shrug-

James: -sigh- okay…I'll…do it…

Natalie: -wide eyes- WHAT! COME ANY CLOSER TO ME POTTER AND I WILL BREAK YOUR JAW!

James: sorry…

Natalie: James…why are you getting closer…I said no…James…get away from _mmmmhhhhfffffff_

Ryan: -burst out laughing as James snogs Natalie-

Vanessa: hehe…

Matthew: -growl- THAT'S ENOUGH!

James: -gets pulled away by Matthew-

Natalie: -in shock-

Stefanie: HAHAHAHAHA

James: I hate you soooo much Stefanie…

Natalie: -still in shock as Stefanie releases her from the binds-

Matthew: You WILL pay Stefanie…

Stefanie: uh huh…your go James…

Natalie: -still in shock-

Ryan: awww…poor Natalie…

-James spins the bottle, which lands on Matthew-

James: Truth or dare?

Matthew: TRUTH!

James: -laughing- ummm…okay…did you just ask Melissa Bones to the dance to make Natalie jealous?

Matthew: err…-sigh- yes…

Natalie: -doesn't respond because she is still in shock-

Vanessa: -giggling- spin the bottle then Matt…

-Matthew spins bottle which lands on Ryan-

Ryan: Dang…I knew my good luck would run out…

Matthew: Truth or dare?

Ryan: Dare!

Matthew: Okay…I dare you to strip down to your underpants, get your broom and fly up to the seventh year girl's room and go in through the window! As long as you avoid the stairs you should be all right…

Ryan: O.O what do I do when I get up there?

Matthew: Just run around saying 'I'm too hot for my clothes…'

Stefanie: -scrambling up- I'm going to go watch…you guys coming?

James: Matt and I can't because we're boys…you, Vani and Nat can though…

Vanessa: I'm coming! What about you Nat?

Natalie: -still in shock-

Stefanie: -shrug- suit yourself…hang on a sec _Accio Camera_

-Camera comes zooming down stairs which Stefanie catches-

Ryan: Oh Stef!

Vanessa: -snigger- Come on Stef…

-Stefanie and Vanessa run up stairs to wait for the mayhem to start-

Lily: What are YOU guys doing here?

Vanessa: Oh you'll see…

-Suddenly screaming can be heard from the seventh year girl's room and the door opens with Ryan running as fast as he can out with only underpants on-

Ryan: I'M TOO HOT FOR MY CLOTHES!

Stefanie: -snaps picture-

Vanessa: -in hysterics-

Lily: OH MY GOD! HOW DID HE GET IN HERE!

Stefanie: We have our ways…-snaps another picture-

Vanessa: Ohhh…this is hilarious…

Lily: -suspiciously- I thought McGonagall took away all of your crack guys…

Stefanie: She did! –snap snap-

Vanessa: We're playing truth or dare…

Lily: Sounds like fun…can I play?

Stefanie: Miss goodie goodie Potter wants to be a rebel now does she?

LilY: PLEASE! I'm dead bored…

Vanessa: Fine…

Ryan: I'M TOO HOT FOR MY CLOTHES!

Stefanie: That's enough Ryan…you can go back down now…

Ryan: -attempts to run down stairs but they flatten out and he slides all the way down to the bottom and lands with a thud-

Ryan: Ouuuuuuuuuch…

Lily: Serves you right for going through with the dare…

Stefanie: -skips down stairs with Vanessa and Lily following-

James: We heard that from down here!

Matthew: This is priceless…

Ryan: -sits down grumbling-

Lily: Aren't you going to put your clothes back on?

Ryan: No…I feel free…

Stefanie: -wrinkles nose in disgust-

Ryan: -grin-

James: Why is SHE here?

Lily: For your information…SHE wants to play…

James: More like watch us…

Lily: -growl-

-Ryan spins bottle, which lands on Matthew-

Matthew: Not again…

Ryan: Truth or dare?

Matthew: Truth…

Ryan: Do I turn you on?

Matthew: WHAT! Ewww…no way dude…that's really gross…

Ryan: -grin-

Lily: are you guys SURE you didn't have any crack?

Stefanie: Well I'm sure I didn't… but I dunno about Ryan…

Lily: What's wrong with Nat?

Vanessa: James SNOGGED her…

Lily: -gasp- WHAT!

James: It was for a dare! Dude…take a chill pill…

Lily: Chill pill?

Stefanie: -rolls eyes- A muggle expression he heard ME say…he probably doesn't even know what it means.

Lily: Oh…okay…spin the bottle then…

-Matthew spins bottle, which lands on Lily-

Matthew: Truth of dare?

Lily: -grin- Dare!

Matthew: Well…I'll be nice to you…I dare you to go find Nicholas, Josh, Hugo, Rose and Albus and ask them to play!

Lily: Okay!

_15 minutes later when Lily returns with Nicholas, Josh, Hugo, Rose and Albus they all sit down…_

Nicholas: You're all playing Truth or dare and you didn't tell me…I'm offended…

Rose: Yeah…nothings no fun without ME around…

Albus: I'm still not sure if it's a good idea to not play without mum around…

Hugo: Sure sure…just spin the bottle…

Josh: Question…are we allowed to dare people to have s

Stefanie: WHAT! NO! SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME AND I WILL HEX YOU TO OBLIVION!

Josh: -whimper- sorry…I was only joking…

Nicholas: Yeah…that was a SICK and PERVERTED joke Josh…

Josh: sorry…

James: Just spin the bottle please…

-Lily spins bottle, which lands on Ryan-

Ryan: TRUTH THIS TIME!

Matthew: -snigger-

Natalie: -still in shock-

Rose: What's up with Nat?

Stefanie: I dared James to snog her…

Hugo: Ah...I see…

Albus: -eye-bro raise- Maybe this WILL be fun after-all…

Nicholas: ASK HIM A QUESTION!

Lily: Okay…do you like any girls at Hogwarts?

Ryan: -blushing- yes…

Lily: -gasp- WHO??

Ryan: That wasn't the question…

James: Oh MAN!

Stefanie: Too funny…

Hugo: Spin the bottle…

-Ryan spins the bottle, which lands on Rose-

Rose: Yay! Dare time!

Ryan: Okay…I dare you to claim that you love Scorpius Malfoy tomorrow at breakfast…

Rose: O.O

Vanessa: HA!!

Hugo: This just keeps getting better and better…

Rose: Errrghhh…this is so wrong guys…

Albus: But you have to do it…

Rose: -scowl-

-Rose spins bottle, which lands on Albus-

Rose: Justice…

Albus: -trying to be brave- DARE!

Rose: Okay…I dare you to walk around with your glasses for the whole day tomorrow!

Nicholas: HA!

Josh: Ohhh…that's gonna be funny…

Albus: -huff-

Jams: Don't worry…I'll take lots of photos…

Lily: Poor Albus…

Natalie: -still in shock-

-Albus is about to spin bottle but the portrait hole burst open, revealing MJ and Caroline-

MJ: -eyeing them suspiciously- what are you doing?

Caroline: YAY! Do you guys have more crack?

MJ: They better not…

Stefanie: Chill…we're playing Truth or dare…

MJ: YAY!! I LOVE TRUTH OR DARE!!

-MJ and Caroline join circle-

Josh: HOT CHICKS

Caroline: -punch-

MJ: -kick-

Josh: I'm in paaaaaiiiiin

Ryan: Well that brightened my day!

Josh: -glare-

MJ: What happened to Nat?

Stefanie: I dared James to snog her!

MJ: Oh…of COURSE you did…

Vanessa: It was funny actually…

Matthew: No it wasn't…

Caroline: SPIN ALREADY!

-Albus spins bottle, which lands on Josh-

Josh: YAY! Truth…

Albus: Why do you have a creepy obsession with girls?

Josh: I dunno…I think they're hot…

Nicholas: So THAT'S what goes on in the pee brain of yours…

Hugo: -snicker-

Rose: -laugh-

Natalie: -still in shock-

Josh: -sniff-

-Josh spins bottle, which lands on Stefanie-

Stefanie: TRUTH!

Josh: Do you want to be my girlfriend me Stef?

Stef: Ahhh…let me think…NO!

Josh: -gasp- IT'S TRUE…awww….

Nicholas: Wow…what a surprise…not…

-Stefanie spins bottle, which lands on MJ-

James: Don't do dare…she's evil…

MJ: I'm not afraid of my cousin…dare…

Stefanie: When I get more crack I dare you to have some!

MJ: NOOOOOO

Stefanie: YES!

Matthew: Now she will join us in our hunt for the PFM!!

Vanessa: And the YSP

MJ: -grumble-

-MJ spins bottle, which lands on Nicholas-

MJ: Truth or dare?

Nicholas: Truth…

MJ: Do you still sleep with that Teddy called Mr. Squidgy that my mum bought you for your second birthday?

Nicholas: Yes…only at home though…

Stefanie: hehehehe…

MJ: TOO FUNNY

Lily: I still sleep with my teddy…

Josh: But you're a baby like Nick then…

Stefanie: Oh PLEASE Josh! Last time we slept over at your house you and Bianca were fighting over who was going to sleep with Mr. Tinkles…the gorilla…

All: -laugh-

Josh: -blush-

Nicholas: Okay…spinning now…

-Nicholas spins bottle, which lands on Caroline-

Caroline: Dare!

Nicholas: Okay…I dare you to turn your hair blue with your wand…and leave it that way for a day…

Caroline: OH MAN… -gets wand out and changes hair to blue-

Stefanie: -tries to muffle laughter-

Caroline: Shut up…

-Caroline spins bottle, which lands on Hugo-

Hugo: I'll be different Truth AND dare

All: Ohhhhhhh

Caroline: Okay…I dare you to dance in front of McGonagall in your duck boxers tonight at dinner…

Hugo: -nodding- consider it done…

Caroline: hmmm…Truth…do you want Lisa to be your girlfriend when your older?

Hugo: -grumbles something inaudible-

Stefanie: What was that?

Hugo: I said yes…

Nicholas: Haha…

Lily: Awww…that's sweat…

Rose: -shocked- really…wow…

Hugo: -embarrassed- just spin…

Natalie: -suddenly standing up-

Stefanie: Nat! Welcome back!

Natalie: -points at Stefanie- YOU!

Stefanie: Yes...me…

Natalie: STEFANIE ANGELA ELIZABETH BRIGHT!

Stefanie: -getting up and backing away- Yes…

Natalie: I'm GOING TO GET YOU!

-Natalie chases Stefanie through the portrait whole screeching the whole way-

James: It looks like truth or dare is over…

MJ: Yeah…

The next morning Stefanie was found hanging upside, covered in green slime in the Great Hall. Natalie acted oblivious…like she knew nothing about it…COUGH COUGH

THE END

**A/N: Okay…I wrote another skit…I couldn't resist…I'll write how everybody's dares went soon…**

**Bye!**

**Max.rise123**


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